Bloatie
Bloatie wears a crown. Nobody gave it to them. They just showed up with it one day and everyone accepted it because honestly – fair.
The Main Character. Always.
Bloatie is the friend who orders for the whole table without being asked, gets everyone's order right, and somehow ends up being the reason the night was unforgettable. They have opinions about everything and share all of them, at FULL volume.
Bloatie wants to be healthy. They genuinely want this. They read the NURA Gut Log. They understand what prebiotics do. They had a whole plan for this morning. And then someone mentioned dumplings and the plan dissolved instantly and without guilt because Bloatie does not believe in guilt, only in living.
Bloatie talks for two hours straight about their situationship, their skincare routine, and what they want to order. Dozie listens to all of it with their eyes half closed and zero judgment. Never interrupts. Never checks their phone.
Bloatie has never felt more heard in their life. It doesn't matter that Dozie was asleep for most of it.
Bloatie walks in. Full outfit. Full energy. Ready to be the moment. Devie does one random unpredictable thing- doesn't even try, - and suddenly is the center. Bloatie is standing right there. Looking incredible. Having planned this. And Devie just accidentally happened and now it's Devie's night somehow?
Bloatie is not upset. Bloatie is just saying it's not fair. Bloatie is JUST SAYING.